you are the worst thing in the world for me

mx

i remember once you told me
"people like us share a communion"
a fellowship like ours was not to be matched by those smiling consumers
the masses
and i believed you
i surrendered to your thoughts
that cut through the gray we surround ourselves in
you always had the most beautiful way of making black and white
seem like a rainbow
even the most blunt truths
taste sweet in the end
you are a corner stone of inspiration
a man

one
of
a
kind

never crushed by life
and the filth
up and angry
coffee and cigarettes
fuel for what magic happens when you open your mind
what beauty you spill into a world that may not deserve you
i am proud to be one of the few to be called your audience
to have been in a lions den


and soon the sun will orbit you for the 44th time
i hope it blesses you with health and happiness
you deserve it

Opium Winter

I feel the dark embrace of past desires all around me
you feel the sun beat down your door
dont answer
besides it will only fall beneath the horizon
lay down near me
touch the space between us till it sends shivers down your spine
look into me
get lost
the energy inside me will become your opium
outside is winter
frozen with never ending stress
ill stay still
warm you
make time behave
we dont have to laugh
we dont have to be entertained
we can let truth sweep on top of us
and just be
i dont need the answers
to co exist
just want to feel peace
i feel my organs
keeping me alive
never complaining
and i finally appreciate them
remarkable oxygen
keeping you from falling away
suddenly this globe makes sense
if only for a moment
if it were all this simple
i just want to feel home
where is my home
no more questions
not now
let me have this
my opium winter

feel it all around

Nephilim

Do not be mistaken i am not human
i can take the shape of flesh and bones
but there is no humanity inside
my eyes penetrate you
they search your energy
i use sex for fuel
the last remaining entertainment on this low light globe
nothing
will
change
my
mind
do
not
look
for
my
soul
you
will
find
darkness




("There were giants (Hebrew: Nephilim) in the earth in those days, and also after that, when the Sons of God (angels) came unto the daughters of men (humans) and they bare children to them (a hybrid, mutant race, part human, part angelic) the mutant offspring were giants, physically and mentally superior to humans, yet they were brutish, sensual, violent and immoral, and they were all males. It is likely that the various mythological figures of some ancient cultures are distorted stories of these very Nephilim, and the condition of society prior to the great deluge, which destroyed them all.


OR
DID
THEY
SURVIVE?

I
AM
THE
DAUGHTER
OF
MAN

numb

Metaphor for a missing moment
Pull me into your perfect circle

One womb
One shape
One resolve

Liberate this will
To release us all

Gotta cut away, clear away
Snip away and sever this
Umbilical residue that's
Keeping me from killing you

And from pulling you down with me in here
I can almost hear you scream

Give me
One more medicated peaceful moment
One more medicated peaceful moment

And I don't wanna feel this overwhelming
Hostility
Because I don't wanna feel this overwhelming
Hostility

Gotta cut away Clear away
Snip away and sever this
Umbilical residue
Gotta cut away Clear away
Snip away and sever this
Umbilical residue that's
Keeping me from killing you
Keeping me from killing you

groundwork

i slipped on my own two feet
running too fast into you
and the ground knocked the wind out of me
i was so high up
so i lay here on the ground
you by my side barely able to move
we make eye contact that says "why"
and was i only aloud this one mistake this time
i scream to be heard
when all i needed was a whisper
and now i cant remember you
remember what made me beam
i want to go back to the beginning
start again
take back all the things i couldnt understand
what made me run so fast and fall so hard
and know what i know now
that you are someone worth waiting for
worth my patience
worth my letting go
ill wait this time to lay the groundwork
i will help you up and set you free
to come back one day stronger
and if you never come here again
i will still love you
because its truly all i can do
the future is unsure
and the present is a mess
but
i see you
i saw you
and you are beautiul