green tequila

the beauty between us is simple
you shut down everything i have ever known to be right

because when you are near i can not give license to any of my words,
gravity seems to release me just enough to give you control
when i open up you pour into my mouth
and i am bound by my senses

love is not at risk
no there is much more then that
pride and ego
is what we put on the table,the bed

i want you to win
even if it means that i lose

ive given you every advantage
every doorway out
but you will only leave me on your terms
i see that now
only when i am weak
when i fall asleep in your arms is when im in the most danger

i would love to dive into you just once
to calm the storms inside you
those storms that show in your gray blue eyes
the battles you have pushed away

you are a lion
but you hide in the bush
fear is not in your roar
not in your bite
they fear the power you will never show
remember you hold it

you make my heart pump like music
my pulse skips and trembles
i charge from you

curse the day that i give you away

when i met you i felt rich
not lottery rich

scary investment rich...
i want to show off but i cant
i feel like im on the edge of being let down every second
you are only for me right now

i dont want to spend you

Richard

its hard to care about the body that makes you weak
the vessel that makes you mortal
when this life has left you weathered
and you have given you you can give

the truth comes to the surface.
we never sleep
we close our eyes
we pretend that we are dead
but we haunt ourselves

one thing i know and i know it good
i know it well
the knife of this world will cut you
you wont know when or why
or even where you are bleeding out

but you know you are.
life is the heaviest in the smallest places
i am not big enough yet to celebrate your death
making myself ill so i dont have to face your child
the face of you
i mourn you

we cant ever take it back... not even this
you were an angel afather figure, an older brother
always stronger for us.
i failed you
i would give anything to take away the pain you felt on that fateful day
to let you see one day pass
so you knew how much we needed you
mistakes wash away
life is the ultimate redemption


you said no regrets
but you never had a chance to regret this
i regret it

you could never burn the bridge to my heart
i love you beyond worldy knowings

feel my love please now

again

no sleep when you are near
you've seen my valley
you have yet to see my peak

my senses have declared civil war
when you touch me
my mouth goes dry
my skin screams

I let go just long enough to say fuck it
fuck the day we let each other down
you push me to understand you
to understand myself
how?

im melting
i surrender and lay down
hands in the air
i bare witness

learning slowly to expect nothing
yet want everything

keep turning the pages in my brain
you've rattled my cage
let it begin

testing

its hard to remember now what things were even important enough to pick at
to push you away
so i didnt have to deal with the pain of being apart
because I couldnt possibly accept my own happiness
feel worthy, truly worthy of this love

someone told me once it takes time to adjust to anything
even love
even happiness

its hard to adjust when the person you want closest to you is ripped from your arms.
so far apart and making the distance farther
I created the fear and doubt
a blanket i know all to well
predict my own downfall
because sadness can never let you down

I want to accept our love
I want to invite happiness again
Come home to me

everyday is more unbearable
im longing from a distance

i can not mourn you again and again
when all i want is to celebrate

dont you see us
dont you see me

im still your girl

forgive me

let me in again

i promise ill behave

dreams

(Now I'll tell you openly
you have my heart
so dont hurt me)


Ive never been one to be caught speechless
you've done it to me
im beneath waves
slowly pulling me under
ive never been so happy to drown

this is for you
I AM for you
how could I not be?

my dreams have become a side game to my reality
a back seat
a pale comparison

i will wait forever

Prisoner

ive never had a loss of words
but somehow i am
i am completely naked
slowly becoming a prisoner to these feelings
you are the only one
i will protect you
can you make me feel this way forever?
keep me a prisoner
i will fight to excite you
can hold me down when I resist you?
when morning arrives we will see the same sun
do you sometimes wonder if I want to escape you?
never
the night does not resist the day
i wont let anything come between us
you are my captor
i will not escape you

in this cell ive seen into paradise
please
please
please
take me there
im yours