I would love to have an off button for my curiosity
the endless wondering about life and the creaures around me
the choices they make
how they work
like how on earth could someone who in their own mind think they love you one minute
and have no regard for you the next second
or how i could manage to care for that same person even though my rational thought has completely given up
is it easier to think of one pain verses another
like the old trick of pinching one part of your body to distract another from an even more immense trauma
or why when everyone pulls near me i shut down and hide
i reach for one
the very one that is the source of pain and neglect
its no wonder my balance is off
our entire world is fucked at the moment
instead of elevating myself where i belong
im reaching my hand down consistently to help someone
i can always find a mouth to feed
to bite my hand
but i havent quite found the switch that turns off my heart
ive run to the end of my rope with you
because i cant change who i am
and who I am is a person who gives a fuck and gives her all
i deserve that in return
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