Monday, April 19, 2010


shocking how a few notes can transcend you back in time just long enough to loosen the wrinkles on your face
long enough to remind you
your battles have not been lost
the have been leading you
showing you who you are
because in this momentary time travel you will see yourself
how far you have come and how true you always were
the map is on your hands
in the palm that carries your new journey
so dont forget to obey gravity

this melody reminds me of the love i almost never had
someone who traveled through time beside me
i lost you in the life before this one
and now im lost without you
i keep it in my palm
the knowledge of how deep a love can be
all else pales
and i am left glossy black

the moments are catching up and the wrinkles start to reappear
just like that you are mortal once again
and my palms become fists again
trying to find honesty

melody remind me once more
i hope i die tonight..from fright from everything that is happening in my head...from everything unsaid...from all the words i never really wanted to have said...from every half breath...from every undead movement...from all the false statements uttered from our lips...and this is not a breakup poem..this is a life poem...we swallow this reality like it is all we are capable of.

if that's true then we are smaller then i had dreams are drug induced fantasies..and i dont want to wake up...infact...make me sleep harded...not higher...harded...down deeper..into dirt.. into my grave, bury me with my idols.. oh wait i dont have IDOLS... thou shall not love false idols... so bury me with god...

God, I believed you. I wanted you
i thought you wanted me to
why dont you
every step i take makes me one less step away from
why humans?
for sport?

the top of the food chain is the bottom of the ladder
the first step
when everyone is pushing on your head to get above you
no one really looks at the ground beneath them right?
so why should we?
you gave us a soul....
or did i invent that
a soul
i have nothing...i have no choices...i decided to surrender

take me

Friday, April 9, 2010

i love nacho

the sex secert .... was brilliant... it was so powerful what you said. it moves me. i feel the same strength in sex to send you falling so fast without control. thank you, for being strong enough to say the words with such clarity. que fuerte

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


the spots in my mind that are bright are slowly being covered in black
ounces of hopes slip through my filter
leaving only grinds and murk
i slowly forget love
i am forgeting what made me human
but i still havent harden yet
i make the attemps daily
what makes me move...
i could lay still forever
ash to ash
dust to dust
was i ever solid?
i am dust
i am ash
only a shell
holding my ash
my liquids ran out
i spewed every last tear
every last cum
every last drop of blood
and i am removed from my humanity
i no longer reach to heal
or be healed
i want this earth to burn
i feel nothing for this world
let it fall to the black
it all goes black in the end
im ready for the end