Tuesday, May 11, 2010

technicolor advances

i want the colours to flow like technicolor vision through my skin
i am a horse of another color
around each bend
new understanding
fuscia brings wide eyes and sticky fingers
and in the morning
indigo brings melancholy backlashes
turns my brain to tangerine
when the green knight arrives again
im ready for departure
with wings painted amber
touch the bright neon lights once again
my feet barely touching the ground beneath me
i ran alongside my golden horse
to the ivory castle in my dreams
the sands of time fall faster
and gray sets the path ahead
running faster away from the sunlight
but the beams hit the street and slide into my bedroom
leaving my violet lids raw and defenseless
i surrend
turning ruby
ruby heart
ruby rage
find me faster
i dropped my amber wings at your doorstep
and daylight will lead you back
goodnight green knight

goth star

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

resisting my fragility

everyday forging a metal exterior
resisting my fragility
i wake and shake the day before last
hoping ive learned this time
something lasting
giving all i had to give yesterday
i reach for more
inside myself
what can i give today
when can i receive
i throw myself into the wind
hoping hands will catch me
those hands that took my heart
without earning it
the heart i give everyday
never knowing if it's enough
but it will have to do for now
today in this day
i will forget yesterday
i will not let it poke through
to seep through my moments
today i will be free of thought
and let the heart i threw to the wind
fall where it may
i build up my strength
and never let go of my eternal fragility

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

my emo playlist

Seawolf - you're a wolf
Band of Horses - No ones gonna love you
Elliot smith - Needle in the hay
Death Cab for a cutie - I will possess your heart
Cursive - the recluse
Memory tapes - Bicycle
Grade - The Inefficiency of emotion (AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!!) love grade...love this


i forgot how much i loved this song

Sunday, May 2, 2010

everyone is so busy creating art...what happening to the basics
the simple
what happened to pleasure
if anyone wanted to live they would let go
let go of what was cool
what was art
art holds us back
art keeps us restrained
anyone who says they want this life is lying
lying to themselves and to god
to god to make him happy
to save there lives
the lives that mean nothing
the lives they dont want
you keep you demeanor for fear of consequence
but what if there was none
just beauty
just love
everything was white
and i was your girl
we flew through these fields...and we lived in bed
when does this reality begin
i think it does when we make it!
lets live
lets live!!
please live with me
and i will set you free
i will give you pure
i will give you honest
just come with me

have faith

here comes this pressure...this everlasting depth
and you cant swallow
you wont breath
i have so much to give...so much to throw on you
your hands fill with my black
with my red
with my everlasting liquids....
i spill on to you
and i wait for the one strong enough to hold them
hold me down
when i try to fly...when i try to leave you
and when you see the fear in my eyes...when you know that i want to fall
you hold me
because you know i have so much to give
and you know there is nothing in this world left to live for but me
i know the same...i cant escape you
just like i cant escape oxygen
why would i want to??
i pretend that sex fill me
but you knew better
filling me with hope
filling me with kindness
building my heart from a coal mine to a warm place
of shelter
of rescue

and i will hold you
i will lift you up
i will be everything thing you have ever needed
the one pushing you towards greatness
you are my diamond
i wield you to the ever growing light you are
please trust my love
trust my compassion

if you have nothing left
have trust
have faith
in me
and i will return it to you
ten fold

you will see the immaculate being you are
when i return to the light inside of you