Thursday, May 31, 2012

come drink wine and stop cancer :) win win!!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

new mind,new heart

Dear friends,

Thank you for anyone that has stumbled upon my blog or follows it. This has been an amazing release for me over the years. I will now be elevating it along with the rest of my vibrations. Slowly but surely. I have decided to be selfish for once and stop sharing my ideas and free support to all those around me. I will remain the free and generous spirit that I am with a few inner changes. Seems my heart is a broken record at the moment and I intend to repair that now.

There has been a block on my focus and energy for about a year now. Even though finding out that my heart is capable to love again was exciting, seems to have only been yet another obstacle in my path. I seem to hit a wall everytime I get to a certain amount of progress. I choose back in March to go back to school, it took months to find my papers and get enrolled only to have my start date time and time again be pushed back. So I stayed in a holding pattern, a web almost. Losing my desire for anything except deeper inner meaning and lust/love. One would side track the other. One to indulge the other. The chaos that surrounded my lust was an amazing ride and keep me quite occupied while waiting. The pills kept me some what numb while I dealt with death in my family and the deep pain of my own dark past. I guess I never truly thought to myself that I deserved more then what I have always been given. I was taught how to manipulate through guilt at a young age not even realizing this until just this week how deep of a pattern this was. My pain had turned to need and that need has pulled and pushed a negative vibration to me.

Now that I have identified these broken patterns it is my mission to repair them. The challenge to love myself through these growing pains has been the biggest of all the challenges. I do believe that I have supplied this world and my loved ones with great light, love and support. Its time I gave myself this same love and light. Lust has been a downfall for true love in my life for the past decade.

Currently I am just humbled by my continued journey in life. The universe that exists outside me has been my fascination thus far and now I am finally observing the universe within. Science and spirituality is finally peaking and taking the main stage. Change happens, we evolve. I embrace 2012 as a year of challenge and development. My task now is patience while I set up my success for 2013.

And wherever you are Carl Sagan, thank you.

as our great minds come together and time speeds up we are becoming a more dense universe

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Mark Twain

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain

I hope the fragance of my forgiveness to others can be a reminder of my approval of them. In turn help them to find an inner approval.
This week I am working on true forgiveness and letting go of any resentment that i may not have acknowledged before so that I can heal it and move past it.
Violet flowers for my house in spirit of this amazing quote by Mark Twain which so beautifully sums up the act of forgiving not only others but yourself.

Also realizing my own nature was never to manipulate by guilt but a flaw passed down by the generation before that only did what was in their own limited power and knowledge. I know I have more power and understanding now, and that my patterns can be changed. I am thankful to the people in my life in the past few months that have reflected this. Just like the friend who tells you you have something in your teeth. Even though it my embarrass you at first, you might even be some what angered you realize this is a TRUE friend. This is love. Helping the people around you. Wouldnt you rather know you had something in your teeth then continue to speak to different people the whole day without being told?? How would anything be repaired?

Not everything is as easy to repair or restore. Love and continued forgiveness of yourself and others is the only way towards a more peaceful and happy life. I am already manifesting this and see it forming. I am very grateful.


Monday, May 28, 2012

the door is open

i must have lied to myself a million times
that i wasnt selling out
at least i have the power to correct that

no one of us is any better then the next
ive given to you purely
as flawed as i may be
i let you see me

i saw you once a long time ago
you came to my house
the lines in your forehead were gone
you looked at me with trust and love
and somehow i broke it

but i am only human
and you let me have that trust far too soon
i went against my better judgement
i listened to my heart
and i dont regret anything
because you taught me so much

even if my lesson is still patience
i have never had so much with one man
you taught me that im capible of that

however i guess there is no accounting for the hearts wants
my heart gives big
and wants big in return

if patience is my lesson
then i am truly going to try to pay attention

you are free.
as free as you were when you met me
and as free as you were the entire time

i love myself enough to know that i can not allow you to treat me the way you have been
and i love you enough to know that you are in over your head

i hope you start your mornings better baby
and i hope we meet in our dreams
in our true forms
without anger, resentment, jealousy or hurtful words

if you could only see you through my eyes
i think you would understand how deeply i care for you


The Pineal Gland - The

I am detoxing my brain. Its final! Im selling my TV, getting a landline telephone, and changing my diet completely.

back to the original plan for 2012. no more distractions.

the world exists inside , so time to clean house

Im so convinced.

its going to be hard but i need to see what happens


a few months back something inside me said music is our universal language
it has always been paramount in how i have choosen friends, boyfriends ect.
even though this seems so simple
it gives way to my primal needs and that i am more in tune than most
im in process of changing my sound waves

there is no physical reality
only energy
mine is more powerful then most
which is hard for me to control around others
in the world i am now
most human energy is not in tune with my own

i have chose most my life to try to lower my waves
or drown them down with some drug form
in order to have love or comfort from others in my physical realm

because of upbringing and outside influences i have formed a belief structure which up until now i never understood why i constantly rebeled against
now i see that i was only rebeling against false information my soul was keeping me safe from
not my mother or father
not my family or friends
or even God

i was simply breaking free from the masses
trapped in this low frequency reality
my internal journey the past few months has changed my entire outlook

i was blessed with a powerful mind
an IQ of 158
a beautiful outer being

my soul has been longing for a twin flame
however i realize now this realm may not have that to offer me

there is something still blocking me from true vision
however with each person i encounter
every situation i get into
im slowly removing my own blocks
and now that i am sure time is only a fiction of the mind
i am no longer in the rat race for success
no longer subject to outside perception

there is something higher
i feel this in every cell of my body
yet i have no grasp on how to look up
how to see

so i will enjoy the fundamental joys we are given in this physical world
the ability to love
the ability to eat
the ability to feel
the ability to create
i will dance everyday, i will smile every morning, i will laugh as much as possible, i will have as much sex as i can, i will cook delicious food, i will meditate, i will be at peace, i will make amazing music, and i will give my amazing energy where it is given back in return. all while being a bad ass, goth, wild child.

i love being me

Thursday, May 24, 2012

time is fiction

joke is on me it seems
you said to watch your actions
and not listen to your words
well seems like the actions have finally made an impression

you do what you want
i could never stop you anyway
but funny thing is i know somehow you are saving me
from you

i am not mad
i am not sad

i am at peace with your actions

i am at peace with mine

i never compromised myself

now i know that my giving has a limit
and im so happy i found it

i can still be me
i found my boundaries
they may be different then most
at least now they exist

ive come to the fence of my life to yours
and i extended my hand over
however you reject my hand
i stay in tack
and without loss of my moral compass

i will live to give again
and moving on seems so much easier now

friendship can with stand the test of time

time is just of fiction of my mind

i will survive
and so will you

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

i want to remix this and put my own vocals on this!!

hearts filthy lesson

you broke me.
you know who you are.
ive spent the last year piecing myself into the person i was before you

my trust was childlike
my heart was open

and now i cant remember your face
or who you are
all i remember is the pain
and the pain that haunts me
that steers my new relationships

because you weren't man enough to be honest to me
and i see you check up on me
i hear about you checking up on me
that i haunt you too

she wasnt me
but she did live down the street
she did live in the same country

our fate would have always been this fate
but why did you have to take my ability to trust

now i cant spot the good guys
because if you werent the best man i had ever known
then what do i know

it pains me now to give to the one i want to
will i regret it again
i question my judgement

i finally gave away the last piece of you today

and it felt like poetic justice
"never have to be alone"
i gave it knowing that I MEANT IT

i wish i could say i miss you
but i wouldnt even know what i was missing
you fooled me so good

maybe i miss who i thought you were
but what do i know
never knew you
i miss me

me before you

Curiosity killed the cat

I would love to have an off button for my curiosity
the endless wondering about life and the creaures around me
the choices they make
how they work

like how on earth could someone who in their own mind think they love you one minute
and have no regard for you the next second
or how i could manage to care for that same person even though my rational thought has completely given up

is it easier to think of one pain verses another
like the old trick of pinching one part of your body to distract another from an even more immense trauma

or why when everyone pulls near me i shut down and hide
i reach for one
the very one that is the source of pain and neglect

its no wonder my balance is off
our entire world is fucked at the moment

instead of elevating myself where i belong
im reaching my hand down consistently to help someone

i can always find a mouth to feed
to bite my hand

but i havent quite found the switch that turns off my heart

ive run to the end of my rope with you
because i cant change who i am
and who I am is a person who gives a fuck and gives her all
i deserve that in return

Monday, May 21, 2012

thank you greg.. i love these!

coming soon

My birthday has started my new year, a new era for all things creative within me that have been cocooning inside me for months.
This is the new beginning of ME

Business plans

Im very excited to announce the new things I am working on

I know their are only a few hundred people that follow this blog, but soon I will be expand it and all my old music I took off this page will be re-posted :)

This has been my scrap book for the past few years,
thank you to anyone who has followed it and enjoys it

So now stay tuned...


the moon climbs the top of my window and lays perched with one eye open
and i stare back as its equal
being stirred by this music
i sway like the ocean after a storm
finding my balance again
under my moon

my head is swimming with nostalgia
pressing forward into these unsteady winds
i feel my inner calm seep through the shore
and i feel embraced by the feeling

you are making me disobey gravity
and i can not find my place
my feet slide on the ground
the sway of this beat
only long enough for my head to reach the clouds

and kiss the moon goodnight
i remind him to watch you
to keep you safe
and fill you with my love

goodnight moon

-Micah Jami

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Friday, May 18, 2012

Birthday weekend. dancing with friends, moombahton, its time to have fun!!!!

Flosstradamus And Kid Sister - Luuk Out Girl (Team Bayside High Moombahton Remix) by Team Bayside High

Happy Birthday Me!!!!,r:0,s:0,i:123

birthday wishes :)


vanity it pulls me under
pride has never been my fault
ego our achilles heel

the ability to self destruct has always been a fascination
so why let it end with a bang, with a hang
why not let it age

like anything worth having in this world
pain comes first
so why not prolong this pain
prolong the fall to the end

the beauty in words that has always captured me
is the release in my inner world
can become anyone's anything

we choose to see what we want
to take in a morbid vibe
or see great light in a twist of vision

my vision is blurred
my eyelids heavy
my fingers gliding towards the easiest option
to somehow express myself without spell check

maybe expressing is a wazte
goodnight me

Thursday, May 17, 2012

we all need lyrics sometimes

RE: reaction

seems like this past two months has been a lifetime
i want to remember normality
i crave routine
so i guess i set myself up well
and i will get what i wish for

having no regrets is hard when you have a mouth that is faster then your brain
so i have "cat like reflexes"
well i fucking hate cats
maybe thats why

i dont want to change what has happened
just dont want to make the same mistakes

almost life
almost death

the extremes have made me numb

i wish i could hold your hand
we could just be still together
have it all wash over us

a wave of mutual forgiveness
a wave of quiet understanding

no excuses
no mind numbing conversation

to be so still that the space between us tightens
leave our egos at the door

could we try?

Sunday, May 13, 2012


i chose the rabbit hole
and how far down it goes we all know
the only thing we seem not to know is how to come back up
how to reach up
look up
climb up

how to realize our dreams
instead of avoiding our nightmares

i am a nebula

my mind gives birth to stars
each one
whether it fail
or not

nothing fails
nothing ends

the power of words, thoughts in motion

Tuesday, May 1, 2012


Everything is nothing

our reality is a luxury which we toy with

and love and sex and god
merely consumption

we are creators
we are gas
we are liquid
we are nothing

fuck this
fuck all

how much can I with stand???

i can only be so strong

GOD please stop my mother
GOD please stop yourself

GOD take back the bang that gave us such chaos

GOD we loved you

GOD you were the one

SO how is it that now i stand divided
take the hand the blinds me
or the hand that leads me to the unbearable truth

i have nothing but love in my heart
it beats with confusion

help me GOD