Saturday, April 21, 2012

Rubix Cube

i remember what stayed on my mind finally at the bar that night in my hyperactive haze i asked if anyone still believes in love really you said you had it and you looked away, a dark gaze that sting of failure you shook it off and took a shot but it stayed with me you felt comfortable in your own skin even with your blatant insecurities you were secure in them i must say it was intoxicating i had your attention even if it was just the corner of your eye careful not to give me too much or be too curious never knew beneath the surface was a man because the pheromones were all man the look was all boy it keeps getting better you are my cocktail choose my own adventure my page turner my rubix cube all i want to say is FUCK YESSSSSS no one rides like you you got the keys to the ferrari tell you the rest later

Saturday, April 14, 2012

unorganized thoughts

the letter came today
it told me that ive started a new chapter
i dont have to live this way anymore

something bigger is waiting
i had stopped dreaming about me
no more no not no more

looking at me through your tinted glass
i dont want to see your tainted vision
its not real
like nothing and everything always is

i choose my tainted vision
the colors that paint me important
the vision that knows my worth

so stop looking at me
i know you are trying
because its easier for you

you wish you could stop looking
so nothing had to change
so you could forget how happy you are
just laying next to me

if you want to i can be the strong one

i dont need to see you
we dont need to ever find out what could of been

all of it shrinks into nothing
now you got what you always wanted
you have pushed me far away

i didnt mean to bone your dad

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Tuesday, April 10, 2012


i want to void this day.
is that possible?
even sleep wont save my daymare
my champagne daymare

i never knew how to accept not getting my way
impatience and short sided vision have been guiding me too long
im starting to doubt my kindness

why can i give to anyone and everyone in need, except myself
i thought i was getting closer to it
yet life seems to be dangling this carrot in front of my face
in the shape of spiritual breakthrough
more like break down
im ready to build up

if i could just sleep

i can say i dont need anyone
i dont feel it
when will i ever wake up and realize im on my own
as always

an island

with tropical storms and beautiful beaches
clear waters that run deeper then most can swim

one complex island
all for me

Sunday, April 8, 2012


passion is expensive
and i am paying my price with you
i would give up all my riches
all my energy
for you

our sex is luxury that not many ever find

i breathe you in
its so hard to exhale

i felt you
when you sang
i was high
off you

every once in a while I catch your eye...
and lose time.i lose sense.
love is too cliche

i can not tell you i love you
its not the word

i want to climb you
i want to explore you
i want to know you

share all my inner thoughts
reach to the end
dig inside our minds
and rescue the secrets

those secrets that make us special
you are
want me to show you?
how special you are
just let me
stay tuned


you make it so hard to fall
how can i
give you me
i am a prism
so perfectly shattered

so how can i hurt you
when you have held me at arms length
you send beams of light through me
then dark. so dark

you have already taken so much of my pride
although I must thank you for that
turns out my pride was like money
mo pride mo problems

i want to stay on this ride
feel you shift inside
my mind is so turned on
my heart is rejecting this game
my body is wet and ready

so lets ride

maybe it is my turn to pump the heat
maybe I should make you ride
twist your mind into knots
create doubt

we are creators after all
you are my co writer
we are passengers of the emotions we send through each other
and im becoming addicted
if i fall in now
you might be my downfall

have I made you feel too safe?
how silly of me
i will correct that
never mistake my eternal kindness
for weakness
however addicting you may be
i am stronger then any drug. any emotion.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

you feel like this

what a terrible world it would be if we could not desire the flesh the way we do

Monday, April 2, 2012

green tequila

the beauty between us is simple
you shut down everything i have ever known to be right

because when you are near i can not give license to any of my words,
gravity seems to release me just enough to give you control
when i open up you pour into my mouth
and i am bound by my senses

love is not at risk
no there is much more then that
pride and ego
is what we put on the table,the bed

i want you to win
even if it means that i lose

ive given you every advantage
every doorway out
but you will only leave me on your terms
i see that now
only when i am weak
when i fall asleep in your arms is when im in the most danger

i would love to dive into you just once
to calm the storms inside you
those storms that show in your gray blue eyes
the battles you have pushed away

you are a lion
but you hide in the bush
fear is not in your roar
not in your bite
they fear the power you will never show
remember you hold it

you make my heart pump like music
my pulse skips and trembles
i charge from you

curse the day that i give you away

when i met you i felt rich
not lottery rich

scary investment rich...
i want to show off but i cant
i feel like im on the edge of being let down every second
you are only for me right now

i dont want to spend you


its hard to care about the body that makes you weak
the vessel that makes you mortal
when this life has left you weathered
and you have given you you can give

the truth comes to the surface.
we never sleep
we close our eyes
we pretend that we are dead
but we haunt ourselves

one thing i know and i know it good
i know it well
the knife of this world will cut you
you wont know when or why
or even where you are bleeding out

but you know you are.
life is the heaviest in the smallest places
i am not big enough yet to celebrate your death
making myself ill so i dont have to face your child
the face of you
i mourn you

we cant ever take it back... not even this
you were an angel afather figure, an older brother
always stronger for us.
i failed you
i would give anything to take away the pain you felt on that fateful day
to let you see one day pass
so you knew how much we needed you
mistakes wash away
life is the ultimate redemption

you said no regrets
but you never had a chance to regret this
i regret it

you could never burn the bridge to my heart
i love you beyond worldy knowings

feel my love please now