Wednesday, May 30, 2012

new mind,new heart

Dear friends,

Thank you for anyone that has stumbled upon my blog or follows it. This has been an amazing release for me over the years. I will now be elevating it along with the rest of my vibrations. Slowly but surely. I have decided to be selfish for once and stop sharing my ideas and free support to all those around me. I will remain the free and generous spirit that I am with a few inner changes. Seems my heart is a broken record at the moment and I intend to repair that now.

There has been a block on my focus and energy for about a year now. Even though finding out that my heart is capable to love again was exciting, seems to have only been yet another obstacle in my path. I seem to hit a wall everytime I get to a certain amount of progress. I choose back in March to go back to school, it took months to find my papers and get enrolled only to have my start date time and time again be pushed back. So I stayed in a holding pattern, a web almost. Losing my desire for anything except deeper inner meaning and lust/love. One would side track the other. One to indulge the other. The chaos that surrounded my lust was an amazing ride and keep me quite occupied while waiting. The pills kept me some what numb while I dealt with death in my family and the deep pain of my own dark past. I guess I never truly thought to myself that I deserved more then what I have always been given. I was taught how to manipulate through guilt at a young age not even realizing this until just this week how deep of a pattern this was. My pain had turned to need and that need has pulled and pushed a negative vibration to me.

Now that I have identified these broken patterns it is my mission to repair them. The challenge to love myself through these growing pains has been the biggest of all the challenges. I do believe that I have supplied this world and my loved ones with great light, love and support. Its time I gave myself this same love and light. Lust has been a downfall for true love in my life for the past decade.

Currently I am just humbled by my continued journey in life. The universe that exists outside me has been my fascination thus far and now I am finally observing the universe within. Science and spirituality is finally peaking and taking the main stage. Change happens, we evolve. I embrace 2012 as a year of challenge and development. My task now is patience while I set up my success for 2013.

And wherever you are Carl Sagan, thank you.

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