Tuesday, December 8, 2009

not poetry

Just read the saddest thing I have ever read... a few minutes ago...
a guideline on to train yourself to be a slave to one man's needs
20 steps on how to "date" a "man"
step one - Lose your place in the world
step two - Do as he says not as he does
step three - forget the multitude of diseases he may or may not be spreading
step four - also throw your needs out the window as you will have no use for them, and he wont considered them

I got the same chill and flash of fury that I got the night I left
when I knew this was true
you see women as objects
this woman is your slave
and you dont even blink to keep a revolving door of "fans"
or extra women you pursue

I was cursed the day i ignored my instinct and responded to your message
I know you read this
and if you havent felt any remorse by now
for how you treat women
believe me your day will come
i hope you like being alone
TRULY alone
because there is no real love that requires rules
the love of a dictator
what love is that
i feel so sad for her

all the compassion i had for you has run out
out the door and into hers
she is a victim
of you and your pain
just like i was
and the ones before me
but she stays
and denies the truths around her
deals with the day to day disappointments you most SURELY bring her
will you be here?
can we eat this?

your way or the highway
and she longs for the acceptance in your eyes that will never come
I thought my father screwed me up
poor woman

you get what you create
a world of daddy issues
"i'm proud of you"
the four words that get your dick wet

and it's interesting that you exist
that you believe you're a good man
you've told yourself the words you need to hear to believe what you want
"I went to therapy"
"I have friends"
but yet you continue to treat them like garbage
the women
the woman
who would bake for you
or do your laundry
or believe that the other women are "fans"
that they somehow found you!
like there is a sign above your small apartment
with a neon sign saying "struggling artist"
oh please!

you found us
you searched for me
spent time on my capture
i would have been none the wiser that you were even on this earth
and I still cant tell which one I prefer
to know
or not to know

I would give anything for you to be real
real to her
real to yourself
real to anyone
as you say
as you think you are

because we are all good
you choose to do wrong
you choose to spit awful things from your mouth
degrade the woman on the other side of the table

make them "behind over backwards"
"jump threw hoops"
for what
what is this gift you speak of
does it ever come?
are there ever moonlit dinners
or romantic trips
or nights that revolve around her
I doubt it

you've worked too hard for that
not when there is still much work to be done

you think that one woman who lets you walk completely over them
without resistance
and in complete submission
will give you your soul back
or will give you the 11 years back

it wont
give love
not words
give actions
not video

believe in someone
as you would have said to me and countless others
but mean it

they all see this "good boy"
they want to release him
I much to young for that
I would not choose to waste my youth
on your twilight years
turning your rage into art
and wiping your ass

but she will
so love her
her pain is so out there
on facebook
for all your other lovers to see
pretending she can bare it
fooling only herself

dont let her choose
a life of slavery
to you
be kind
be loving
you are able
you are a good boy
turned bad man

the first words I ever said to you

bad boy turned bad man

i change that
i have true hope
when i look in your big blue eyes
that seem to ask forgiveness
that you are good inside
so try harder

be good to her
save yourself
from the pain
your body is riddled with
i promise you wont regret it

No comments:

Post a Comment